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Wednesday, 15 August 2012

A Heavy Heart

Hello peeps,
As my title says "A Heavy Heart" which is how mine feels right now!
It has been such a sad day here today with so many tears shed, as one of Jodie's friends Jake, age just 19 was killed in a motorbike accident this afternoon.
I hugged my baby girl tight as she sobbed & sobbed, I wiped her tears, I listened as she spoke through the sobs, & tried my best to be strong and support her.
Very soon as word of Jake's tragic accident got around, my house, then my garden & then the street outside filled with friends, so many young faces full of shock & grief, too many to count, and for probably the first time ever, I didn't know what to do. 
I didn't know how to help them, I couldn't say "it will be alright" because it isn't going to be, I just kind of crumbled inside seeing all those puffy little eyes & listening to their plans of laying flowers for Jake & thinking how they have lost 3 friends in 2 years & they are still so very young.
As a mum I think it's my job to be strong and do & say the right things, to try and make things better, but I just didn't know how, I felt helpless & inadequate.
I left them all together to comfort each other & came indoors wanting to be busy, needing a distraction while I pulled myself together, & remembered some of the youngsters wanted flowers to take & lay where Jake died but had no money, so I went into the garden and cut all the roses, then die cut some Doo Hickey tags and tied them with ribbon to each rose and gave them out along with some pens.
I felt so guilty for not staying with them all the time, trying to comfort them, seeing so many upset little faces, kids I had watched grow up, who'd stayed at my house for sleep overs, was just too much & I just needed to take a few minutes out, I think, and hope that was o.k.
R.I.P Jake

 Give your children an extra kiss tonight, a text, or a hug, it dosen't matter how old or big they are, just be sure to tell them how much you love them


  1. Thanks for sharing this Mandy.... my children lost their 1/2 brother just a week and a day ago to a car accident just 200 yards from his driveway. Life is far to short, and YES, we need to love like there is no tomorrow!

    God bless you and your community as you mourn.


  2. Mandy sending you and your daughter bug hugs from New Zealand, I shed a tear reading your post. What you did was amazing- what a fatastic mum you are.

  3. Mandy, I am so sorry for the loss that your daughter is feeling. I am also sorry for the way you are feeling. It is heart wrenching to have to sit and watch your children in pain. You may feel that you did not know what to do, but you DID, hun. You were there to comfort and listen to your daughter and friends. You gave them the ability to lay flowers where Jake died which in turn gave them a little sense of comfort. You did a wonderful job today. Your daughter is so lucky to have you, and I know you are lucky to have her as well. I am sending you both ((hugs)).

  4. So sorry to hear of Jodie's loss Mandy. Such a beautiful gesture to share your roses with her friends, I'm sure they appreciated them.

    Take care,
    Sharon x

  5. Oh how sad! My heart goes out to all of you. Hard to lose someone especially so very young. All of you are in my thoughts and prayers...Hugs! Leah Ann

  6. At times like these I always feel completely inadequate and never know what to you say. I'm so sorry that such a young life has been taken and your daughter and her friends and Jake's family are in my thoughts and prayers.
    Caz x

  7. OMG this is just so sad Mandy, I'm sat here with tears rolling down my face. Can't imagine what you are all going through! Big hugs to you all!!

  8. Oh Mandy, that's just so sad. 19 is no age and your daughter and her friends must be devastated. Sending you all huge hugs xxxxx

  9. what a waste but such a lovely idea to give them the roses x

  10. What a very sad day indeed, Jake's family must be so devastated too. What a lovely thing to do, cutting all of your roses for them...hugs
    Jackie xx

  11. Oh Mandy, how awful, this has brought tears to my eyes just reading this. This happens so frequently these days, young people with so much of their lives ahead of them and I am not surprised you didn't know what to do as each and every one of them will grieve and handle this in a different way. You did an amazing thing with the roses and I am sure that would have been deeply appreciated by all. Hugs, Claire xx

  12. What happened is horrible. I didn't know Jack, but I still had tears in my eyes when I got to the end of your blog post.
    What you did for those kids (with roses), they will never forget.
    Hugs! xx

  13. Sending big hugs and sympathy to Jodie and all of Jake's friends and family.

    No words of comfort will ease their pain at this time...but your roses are a beautiful gesture which they will all appreciate.

    Biggest hugs
    Elaine xxxx

  14. Oh Mandy, this is so so sad, my heart goes out to all of you. Life is so short and so precious. Bless you for giving out your roses, what a lovely thing to do. Hugs to all of you xxx

  15. What a tragedy .... and so young. I have no words. Wishing you strength. We often say to each other : Catch every day and enjoy ; it could be your last one .... Love from Holland , Christa.

  16. So sorry to hear this news Mandy, it's hard to hear of anyone dying in an accident but makes it all the more heartbreaking when it's someone so young who's never had a chance to live. I'm sure Jody will just be glad that you are there to support here, even if at the moment you don't know what to say or do for her to make it easier. What a lovely idea to pick all your flowers and give them to all his friends, a gesture that may seem small but will mean so much to all of them. xx

  17. Mandy, I am totally in shock for you all. Such a sad post. I am sure the next few weeks are going to be pretty awful but with the love you all obviously have for each other you will find strength to get through it. Don't know what else to say apart from sending you all massive hugs. Sheila and family :)X

  18. So sad so sad to read! I am feling with you all. And You have a Big heart to cut down all your roses! ! I guess thats what a Mother does, when her Child is hurting!!
    Hold on tight to those you love!
    Big Hug from blogging friend Sol

  19. You have written this post so beautiful Mandy, my heart goes out to each and everyone of you, the pain is so hard to bear, but with the support from loved ones you will be strong to get through this horrid time..thinking of you all...hugs sweet girl

  20. Mandy what a terrible loss of a young life. My lovely Stepdad lost his 19 year old Daughter in a bike crash 27 years ago, it still makes me feel heartbroken when I look in his eyes sometimes when the boys are talking about their bikes.
    What you did was so lovely, I think just you being there for Jodie will help xxx
    So sorry lovely, take care xxx

  21. Mandy, your post brought tears to my eyes. This is something every mother fears...losing a child. You surely did a lot for your daughter and her friends with sharing your feelings with them and all the flowers you gave them. You really cared! But what a sad day for his parents and all the friends of him including your daughter! You said you ruight...give your kids a hug and a never know what will happen....

  22. Such a tragic loss, Mandy & I am sure that the roses you gave them were so appreciated. I will remember Jake, his family & friends in my prayers.
    Tine :)

  23. Mandy, This is so sad l really feel for you all at this sad time so young too my heart goes out to you all and hopefully you will all draw strenght from each other at this sad time.....take care x

  24. cant find the words to say that would be able to comfort all those affected by this awful brave and strong is easier said than heart goes out to you all and wish i could help you all in some way all i can do is send my heartfelt condolences to you all as this most difficult of times..such a young lifes flame never to burn or shine bright again is so very very sad my thoughts are with you all love and hugs sassyxxxxxxxxxx

  25. This is so sad Mandy. My heart goes out to Jake's family and friends.
    I wholeheartedly agree with you, it is so important to tell others how much we love them.
    Take care
    Hugs Sue

  26. Big hugs to you and the young people around you, Mandy.....
    hugs Dorte

  27. Oh Mandy, I know how hard this is for you and your poor poor daughter and all her friends...His poor parents...My best friend in the whole world died when I was 17, and it really is the hardest thing in the world to try and come to terms with... My thoughts, prayers and best wishes are with you, your daughter, her friends and Jake's parents, and I really hope you get through this difficult time.

    Hugs from Tags xx

  28. how sad my thoughts are with you all. Your kind gesture will not be forgotten and your daughter has a pretty special mum ,hugs to everyone
    you are in my prayers hugs x

  29. Hier zijn geen woorden voor Mandy.
    Dit is echt verschrikkelijk.
    Sterkte voor Ieder.

    Gr Leny Hempen

  30. Oh Mandy, I am so sorry to read your news. Its just so desperatly sad for all. It sounds to me that you knew what to do, such a lovely gesture for all his friends and your daughter. Sending you all much love. Jenny x

  31. Aww Mandy I'm so sorry to hear such sad news I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers you truly are a wonderful lady and how sweet of you to do something so thoughtful.

    Sending Hugs
    Mandy xxx

  32. Ohhh Mandy none of us have ALL the answers or always know what to do..just being there for Jodie & her friends in their time of need will have helped more than you know..its so sad to think of these young people loose friends so is to short, some shorter than others..what a wonderful gesture to cut & give your roses to these grieving youngsters am sure its when you see your kids tonite hug them tight & say a heart goes out to Jakes family as they are the ones who will feel the most pain..such a sad waste of a young life..take care sweetie..your a good un..

    mummy Tildarette xx

  33. Mandy, I am so sad for everyone concerned, We lost a very close friend at the age of 17 also on a motor bike. Den and I were courting at the time, we know that devastating crushing pain all too well. My heart aches for his family and all of his friends. Huge Comforting Hugs to your daughter and you. Your Rose idea was an amazing gift and blessing to them. You will not realise yet how precious that action will prove to be.
    Prayers are being said my friend.
    Huge Hugs Mau xx

  34. My thoughts are with you all.
    Big hugs,
    Nikki x

  35. so very sad and so very tragic ,,

    the thought to hand out flowers for his friends is perfect and so very thoughtful of you sweetie xx

    sending a HUGE HUG to you all ,,,,, but it's not enough ,,,,,,:-(
    Lols x x x

  36. Thank you for sharing this tragic event.....brought tears to my eyes.
    I have a son who also rides a motorcycle and I live with this fear all summer long! I'm sure they appreciated your thoughtful gesture of providing flowers for them. What a sweetheart you are, Mandy!!!!
    My deepest condolences!

  37. I'm really sorry to hear of the sad news. You might not have known what to say, but you were there and you showed your love so clearly. That will have been a great comfort.

  38. How sad for all of you. Life is not always is especially hard when it is someone so young who is taken from their loved ones. You did support the kids in being there and giving them a safe place to share their feelings. They felt comfortable coming to your home and that in itself says so much. Hugs to all of you. Barbara

  39. My thoughts are with you, glad you can hug your daughter. I am giving my wee ones a extra hug tonight. Prayers and hugs to your family, community and the family at this time. Lisa

  40. Oh Mandy, this is just so awful. My heart goes out to you all. Can I just say what a beautiful thing you did with the roses, you are a wonderful mother sweetie xxxxxx

  41. Oh my word Mandy, this is such a tragedy. I feel so sad for that poor boys parents and all his friends. I hope your daughter is ok. That was so lovely of you to give them all the beautiful roses from your garden. Lee x

  42. I am so very sorry to read this... saying prayers for everyone.

  43. Oh bless Mandy, how awful, you do feel you need to be the strong one as a parent but it's not easy, it knocks you for 6 when something this bad happens. Take care of yourself and your family, hugs to all. Teresa xx

  44. )HHH DEAR MANDY~~Life is so real in all ways--happy and sad. You just being there and having a home to come to for all these kids was your true gift to them!!!!
    God is good but he does stop us in our tracks sometimes. My prayers are with you and all at this time
    Love and hugz from afar!!!

  45. Omg Mandy! So very very sad. I think what you done, money can't buy, it was lovely that you could do that. Take care xx

  46. Oh Mandy, so sad my heart goes out to his parents and of course your daughter, and all of you bless you x

  47. Oh darling girl, you have nothing to feel bad about - you knew Jake too and you too have to grieve for a young life cruelly ended too soon.
    My heart is heavy for you my friend - I have sent you an email sweetie.
    love and hugs (and a few tears too)
    Dawn xxxxxx

  48. This is so sad. It is so frustrating to see our kids suffer when there is nothing we can do or say to make it better. My heart and prayers are with you, your family and your community. Big Hug, Ivonne

  49. Sorry to hear this sad news. Life is hard some times.
    Hugs Aartje


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Mandy xx

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